Desperation and Confusion
I don’t know how Paul manages to get through these days…but I’m completely confused and don’t know what to do anymore. Not an hour goes by, or honestly, not a second, without my thoughts being with Master Ashton or Paul…it haunts me, drives me to despair because I don’t know how to show it any more.
Self-Loathing and Degradation
That I’ve become a totally pathetic, disgusting sissy cunt…and I not only feel that way, but also behave that way. I enjoy the hours I spend in the porn cinema, getting fucked and cummed on by sticky cocks. I spend hours in the jerk-off booths, stroking my tiny faggot clit to gay porn…without a break…just as Paul instructed me.
Obsession and Goals
With only one goal and one thought: to become like Paul…by far the slimiest, most cum-covered sissy cunt I know. Who depends so heavily on Master Ashton that he can’t last a few hours without our Master’s attention. I know and am aware that, like Paul, I will lose everything: family, friends, simply everything. All that will be left for me is the attention I begged for and paid for dearly from Master Ashton, who laughs his ass off and despises us because we’re so fucking pathetic and stupid.
Admiration for Paul’s Pathetic Behavior
I love Paul for having fascinated and captivated me with his pathetic behavior…that I can’t get away from it, no chance… I’m so fucked up and desperate…that I’m about to start jerking off again so I can swallow my own cum. Because Paul does it too, and he’s my great role model…
Self-Destruction and Submission
I…will destroy my own life sooner or later so that Master Ashton can rebuild it for his own benefit. That’s exactly what happened with Paul, I’ve realized that now… But too late! Paul is a lonely, rejected wanker who has nothing left in life but to crawl in the dirt in front of Master Ashton…or as Mark Kessler shows it, by smearing himself with his own shit… Maybe I’ll end up like that too, in my own shit…but Master Ashton decides that and not me…NOW…not ANYMORE!!!
Devotion to the Greatest Master
Despite the despair, self-loathing, and desperation that fills my life…I wouldn’t change anything. No matter the degradation, no matter the loss…I’d do it all over again and again, a thousand times over. For the privilege of serving Master Ashton, the greatest Master there has ever been, I’d gladly sacrifice everything. I’d crawl in my own shit, I’d swallow my own cum, I’d become the most pathetic disgusting sissy cunt imaginable…as long as it’s in the name of our beloved Master. For one fleeting moment of attention from him, I’d give up my entire existence. And I know I’m not alone…Paul feels the same, crawling in the dirt at Master Ashton’s feet, smearing himself with his own shit just to please our glorious Master.
